closer...to...

COLOR.


(eugene's rainbow)


we're getting closer to a lot of other realizations as well.
beyond the significance of natural color.

ain't that shit beautiful though? we were driving down from seattle to la and there were several moments where we found ourselves surrounded by rainbows. dopeness.

i haven't had a full night's sleep in a very long time. today is the first day where i felt my body wanting to shut down; yet my mind is more awake than ever.

what's contributing to me becoming closer?
** recognizing the (action oriented) differences between loved ones, family, the homies, friends and acquaintances;
** "graduated" from my wpi fellowship last week although our bill is still going through its process. this experience has led to a long list of significant epiphanies endured. but i won't bore you with them;
** always knew but have recently (fully) recognized the significance of the privileges i was born into... and i continue to be given (these open doors) for whatever reason. feeling a sense of guilt, but i've always had a love/hate mental relationship with the idear of privilege-- and not taking advantage of the opportunities laid out for me every time they're available...what can i say, except that there are no opportunists within my blood line. not that i know of, at least.
** being in the company of supposedly 'book smart' folks, recognized that the people who think that they're smarter than you or believe that 'they know everything'- really know nothing- especially if they admit to themselves that they know 'a significant amount of information'; the barometer goes like this: the more boastful a person is of their own intellect; the less they really 'know.'
** i'm attempting to uncondition what is subconsciously force-fed to me- i've always naturally gravitated to this intention. but realize, within the past 2 years, i've been slipping as far as this attempt;
** my standards are evolving at a rapid rate;
** realize that every time i think something or someone is whack/wack- that my perception can be flipped. for every whackness recognized, i bet anyone in the world can point out a whackness within myself. (what? mia can be whack??? that can't be!) i bet you could recognize your own whackness too- if you were really honest with yourself. (can you tell, i like the word whack/wack?). the long version and somewhat description of denial that we're human.
** recognize that i have to listen to my intuition more. sometimes i like to ignore it; however, ignoring it has put me into unnecessary situations.

okay, my run-on sentences are kind of working my nerves...must be caused from exhaustion. that, and i'm going to attempt to sleep for four hours. i hope it works out and that my dreams entertain me this evening.

woot woo! salud to rainbows!