new moments

per aurora's suggestion, i decided to sage our bedroom two days ago.
supposedly there was bad energy lingering. i guess i could sense that.

within the past couple of days, i have felt the difference. there is something different going on. who knows if it was the sage of not? i hate to use the word "vibe" (that's greg's trademark)- but that's the only way i can explain it. the 'vibe' in the air feels different. i'm noticing things i never noticed before- not just within my surroundings, but within myself.

a weakness of mine that has come to the forfront of my attention is my inability to (sometimes) 'enjoy the moment.' maybe that's why i like to take pictures. i have a delayed reaction when trying to enjoy the moment. so much so, that i have to enjoy these times moments later than everyone else. i don't know why i'm often reminiscing of the past or putting a lot of energy into thinking about the future.

for example, a lot of shit has gone down within the past year. a year ago exactly, i had flown from los angeles to seattle, back to los angeles to the philippines, from the philippines back to LA, to seattle back to los angeles, then over to Mexico. this happened within a span of two and a half weeks. i still don't think i've recovered from that two and a half weeks even though it was a year ago. at the time i wished i was travelling for pleasure instead of for other reasons.

i think i need to to try and let it go. or some of it at least. my old boss told me of a buddhist tradition where you go to a river or a body of water, light a candle that represents what you need to 'let go' in your life, then watch the candle float away in the water...
maybe that's what i need to do. watch that candle float away.
when i told my sister this, she responded by saying, "what if the candle floats back to you?"

here are snippets of my infamous two and half weeks that occurred exactly a year ago.
yes, i am over obsessing. i need to get over this shit and enjoy the moments ahead.